Ho ho ho! Are you ready for the festive return of Guilty Crown?
|Oh Guilty Crown! You were a fun mess of a series that high praise from those slick trailers, but love it or hate it you can’t deny it was just epic even though it was a giant train wreck of a series. So why are we talking about this series? In short the creators of Guilty Crown took it a step further by mashing it together with the classic Christmas carol story, which created something very…special…yeah let us just call it simply “special” for now, but enough chatter it is time to jump right into the insanity of this OVA.
First off since Guilty Crown: Lost Christmas is really short I decided to test out a different style in the form of a parody style review, but you could just call it a fictional story around the “production” the OVA so I hope you find this tag with Kyokai enjoyable and maybe a refreshing change from the normal reviews here on Metanorn!
|Oh Guilty Crown, how long will you keep giving us bloggers chances to rag on you? Of course, this one in particular is just some bonus material for the Lost Christmas game, which is getting quite a lot of net-talk as we review this. When Fosh brought me the idea of this parody, I jumped on it and this is the collaboration of our randomosity and trolling. Though, as this is not a serious review at all, don’t expect us to gush in excitement or criticism about this project.
To see a demo of the game, check this link. It doesn’t look bad but this OVA was pretty random with usual Guilty Crown fanservice. I’m sure there are lots of fans who wanted to hear more from the characters except for just a few lines. You can always check out the game but for now, enjoy our review.
LET’S ROCK THIS CHRISTMAS CAROL YO!
Producer-chan walks into the room filled with tired writers and slams a book called A Christmas Carol on his desk, while breathing heavily as he slams his hand again on the book getting everyone’s reluctant attention.
Director-san asks out of mild curiosity, “Why are you so excited?”
Producer-chan: “I have the greatest idea of all time!”
Director-san rolls his eyes, “Really now? But fine, let me hear this greatest idea…”
Producer-chan laughs manically and grins. “This will be the best chapter for Guilty Crown!”
Director-san: “…. Oh, so we are using that series again?”
Producer-chan: “HELL YES! WE ARE SO DOING THIS! Anyway, we are going to combine Guilty Crown with the classic story of A Christmas Carol! Trust me the kids will just love this idea. Not to mention, we have a full game coming out, which gives the history before the original Guilty Crown.” He further waves around the main character mockups.
Director-san: “…Seriously… Do you think this is enough?”
Producer-chan: “Of course not! We need nostalgia with minimum-clothes and certain MC-issues. BUT IT’S ALL ABOUT SAVING THE MOE AFTER ALL. IT’S IMPORTANT.” He slams over the file for emphasis.
Director-san: “….But is that the only connection? There has to be some foreground to the anime or this game and OVA would be no good.”
Producer-chan: “I know… I know… The reason I have Segai’s bishie phase in place.”
Director-san: “Did you just use Segai and bishie in one sentence?!” He stares at Producer-chan as if seeing an alien.
Producer-chan: ”I’m not kidding! His character will be really entertaining? Don’t you know there were many doujinshis with him and OH MA SHOE?!”
Yuki Kaji, who was just entering the room froze with the last statement. “There’s a doujinshi with Shu and Segai?! CANNOT UNSEE. I QUIT. I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.”
Imagine something like this. Ai Kayano runs after Yuki to give him a supporting shoulder.
Director-san: “….I don’t think they will ever be back for this Guilty Project….”
Producer-chan completely unfazed replies, “No worries, I already have Kana Asumi, Takahiro Sakurai, Yuu Kobayashi and Nobutoshi Canna confirmed for this one.”
Director-san: “…. How did you manage to get them for this project?”
Producer-chan: “I promised them better roles in future, not to mention more MONEEHHHS! TRUST ME!”
Director-san: “You sure have given this at least some thought….”
Producer-chan: “Of course, I have,” not noticing the sarcasm, he continues on, “And hey we still got Redjuice for another month, right? He can handle the character stuff easily!”
Director-san points to a random desk: “So, is that why we chained him to that desk in the corner of the office?”
Producer-chan looks over at Redjuice and throws some money at him. “We are paying you well for the contract. Just go with the juicy flow man.”
Redjuice almost dies with the weight of that bad pun.
Director-san: “But we can’t just make up a random story.”
Producer-chan paces back and forth thinking deeply and stops in his track suddenly. “A dog! YES! WE NEED A DOG! The children need some emotional attachment to relate to.”
Director-san: “Really? You want to have a dog in the story?”
Redjuice: “I didn’t sign up to draw crappy animals!”
Producer-chan: “Dude, chill…I plan on killing the dog anyway for dramatic plot twist!”
Director-san and Redjuce stare at him and scream in unison, “HOLY CRAP! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”
Producer-chan: “Oh don’t worry it will look glorious when you see the main characters breakdown and cry.”
Director-san: ”But, we might be flagged for animal cruelty….”
Redjuce: ”You’ll get hated by the kids, I swear.”
Producer-chan: “Hey, everyone knows that this is not real. You can do a lot in this medium, you know.”
Director-san: ”After all this, I can only hope you don’t reference to two years of glopping a-voiding.”
Redjuice: “Let’s not go there, bro!”
Producer-chan: “Was that a reference? I don’t really watch a lot of anime…”
Director-san: “Umm, it’s not really anime but anyways, how long is this OVA going to be?”
Producer-chan: “Around twelve minutes of animation plus credits… We can’t afford anything else…”
Director-san: “I see I see…that sounds easy enough.”
Redjuice: “THANK YOU LORD IN HEAVEN!”
Producer-chan: “Oh and Mr. Redjuice, you are drawing the ending artwork too.”
Producer-chan: “Thanks, buddy! I knew I could count on you.”
Redjuice shakes his fist in the air, “I swear one of these days…ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL BE FREE!”
Director-san: “….If you say so…” he says while rolling his eyes, “Anyway, I think this is enough for a brief?”
Producer-chan nods and walks out of the room. “I’m sure you can figure out the rest of it.”
Director-san shakes his head. “What am I doing with my life…”
Redjuice whimpers at his desk, “At least you get to go home…”
Director-san caught in a daze doesn’t hear Redjuice’s comment and begins to work on the initial script to brief the rest of the production team.
And reading our highly dubious parody. Hope you had fun!