The revival of fabulousness, catfights, and blinding bishie sparkles~
|You have been hearing some whispers…. Something has been up for some time. Well, knowing us, something is usually up but this time around we are reviving something old with very fond memories. Some of you actually found Metanorn due to this so on popular demand, ANIME’S NEXT TOP MODEL IS BAAAACK! Hell yeah, boys and girls, ready to bedazzled by the haughty beauties and with a difference too.
Cycle one hailed Enma Ai as the champ while Amu swept away the competition in Cycle two. There was a Senjougahara worship in the middle but we’ll treat that as cycle 2.5 because really, Anime NTM is all about the contestants sweating to get on TOP. But before getting into cat fights and all that raunchiness, let me lay the new ground rules for this glamorous battle royale. Further to which, our host, Cools, will take it away~
|That’s right, by popular demand Anime’s Next Top Model is back in action! Now that Metanorn has a whole slew of writers, on unanimous voting, we are starting up the renowned competition all over again with new rules, new twists, and double the craziness.
Welcome to Cycle 3! I shall be your host, Cool. I’ll always remind you of the rules every week so that you don’t screw up horribly and vote for someone hideous. Each week we’ll have a photo shoot and the photos will be discussed by our esteemed judges. They don’t get to pick who wins the show, but as Metanorn writers they are anime (and hopefully modeling) experts who will give you insights on each participant while the results are revealed. Without any further ado, time to meet the decked out judges!
|While I partake in many fine arts, I have particular experience in judging PVC figure models~ From pose to choice in clothes and hair style, I am a harsh critic to get by. My job includes seeing all types of girls, short, tall, busty and not so much, and telling them how to work it on the shelves! I’ve worked at Wonderfest ’10 and Hobby Expo ’09 and now I’m excited to move from the 3D to the original 2D. See you on the runway~|
|Well, I don’t even have to explain my modeling experience, because I am one (a model that is. Not a modeling experience). I have toned my eyes and brain (and, uh…) to be able to spot a fabulous model from miles away. So naturally, these guys came straight to me when looking for a judge. I must confess; I will not go easy on them. Something tells me I will be the Simon Cowell of this competition. Saying what everyone is thinking, but still loved by everyone.|
|Coming from a long line of family photographers I want to take part in this event! I am looking for fresh subjects to use for future modeling projects. Part time artist on the side so I am looking for experienced characters with WOW Factor, hopefully I can lend my expert skills during some photo shoots. Of course I would be equal in judging the contestants on various things that can either improve them or take them apart! After all, this is a contest not a game show. So, let’s get ready to work together and crown the next top anime King or Queen? Yes.|
|Hey everybody, I will be judging the fine group of ladies we have here for Anime NTM along with Fosh, Junko and Hato. I am a graduate of Ecchi Academy with a Masters in Animation Directing, and I’ve been given rights to direct a brand new anime series for Hoods Entertainment. I’m looking for a female actress to take part in my first series as the lead, and I must say, the competition is quite breathtaking. I wish all the beautiful women of Anime NTM all the luck; they’re all deserving of winning this competition! (All female contestants of Anime NTM stay at Jrow’s house in Studio 504B)|
|Just because I wear a suit most of the times you see me, doesn’t mean I’m going to say ‘Suit up!’ like one Barney Stinson and ride a jaguar over. I might do just that some days but I do admire anime fashion. In particular it’s all about the ensemble for me. So, from your top to shoes and even accessories, play an important factor. Be wary as I hate gaudy colours and one shred or accessory out of place; you’ll get one way ticket to the Metanorn dungeons. Fashion to me has always been a personal statement, like I love black and smart suits. The many pockets and customized hiding places give me the liberty in being ready for anything and everything 25/8. So, bishies, my sweets, I won’t be pulling any punches.|
|Karakuri’s interest in modeling dates back to her days of watching Sailor Moon. Remember that disguise pen that appeared in the first season and never appeared again? Well she thought it was awesome so she took to modeling because it was the closest she was going to get to that. However, a year and a half after her career started, she witnessed a rather traumatizing incident involving a dress of feathers and a stray flame. Her dreams were shattered. Now after extensive therapy, Karakuri is living her dream (sort of) and is back in the world of modeling as a judge… because she refuses to get any closer than that.|
|Huh, what’s this? Next Top Model? In Meta? And I’m the judge for the males? Oh sweetness, I’ll be drooling every week for the hot models that will walk sexily on the red carpet. Don’t worry guys, I won’t go biased here (maybe just a liiiittle bit). All is fair in love, war, and, um, modeling? Thanks to the super duper secretive training about modeling I had from Cheeseroll Riverbanks (that woman who’s in Butei’s Next Top Assassin), I can tell the difference between a gem and a piece of rock. Also, my experience of ukes/semes’ proper etiquette in Yaoi Land’s Seme and Uke Modeling School (I was the teacher there!) will definitely help me to judge who’s the best uke/seme/both model. Now, roll those sexy beasts-er, models in!|
|Diva Hoshi here, and happily ready to do some bishie model judging. My career started back as a lowly back up dancer for some whiny singer, but my killer dance skills, and not to mention my fabulous style, quickly garnered attention from everywhere. I soon had music companies desperately throwing their business cards and money offers at me like rain during a hurricane. However, my passion has always been fashion and writing, so instead I became the editor-in-chief of M.A.Faddy fashion magazine. I’ll definitely be judging these men as hard as I judge our models for our magazine. Not even good looks will soften this attitude of mine~.|
|Me? What do I do? Hey, I have modeling experience too! Some model agencies gave me their cards a few times! …and I never called them back. Okay, I have no actual experience, that’s why I’m just the host. I won’t be commenting on the pictures but I’ll be hosting all the challenges and putting our lovely contestants through hell. What else would you expect from Metanorn’s top sadist, hmm?
But you don’t care about me, you care about the contestants! I bet you’re screaming “WHERE ARE THEY?!” by now. Well, we went through a rigorous audition process where we voted for whom we thought would be best for the competition and came out with 8 guys and girls. We won’t be revealing them this week, so for now we encourage you to guess who made it our list. To narrow things down, we have a very exclusive audition tape showing who didn’t make the cut. They were either so popular, they’d win in a heartbeat or not popular enough to warrant enough fanart to use them in this competition. Sorry!
AUDITIONS TAKE #1
The static on the TV screen clears away to show Overcooled and Zabobinator standing side by side in front of the doors that lead to the judges. As the hosts leading and planning the auditions, they’re doing their best to corral the contestants into the room one by one. The first to enter the room where the panel of judges resides is L from Death Note.
“So,” Kyokai begins promptly, “You want to be a model?” L nods drearily, his dead fish eyes fixed on the judges. There’s some hushed whispering among the judges, mostly about how it would take HOURS to cover those bags with make-up, and then another question:
“Your application was… decent, but we need you to pass one last test to make it here. You need to walk the ramp with a straight back,” Kyokai explains.
L stares at her with the same bleak expression, and silently walks away with his back just as hunched over as ever. He doesn’t seem ready to give up his famous posture just yet.
“Another one failed,” Karakuri mutters softly.
AUDITIONS TAKE #3
Meanwhile, the Bishoujo division of models isn’t doing any better. The next contestant is none other than Celty from Durarara!! Things immediately go downhill when she is asked for some face shots and her preferred hairstyles…
“Well, you see,” Fosh begins hesitantly, “your body is great…and your poses are great…and you’ve got great charisma, but…” Celty leans forward in anticipation, flaunting her new dress and excitedly typing away, “what, what?!” on her phone.
“You have no head,” Hato finishes bluntly.
The silence that fills the room is heavy and lasts a good 10 seconds. And so, yet another contestant turns on their heels and silently walks away leaving behind a dark fume of regret.
AUDITIONS TAKE #5
Back at the Bishounen division, eyebrows are raised as Ciel Phantomhive struts into the room. Seeing as he is scarcely taller than the desk the judges are sitting at and more feminine than some of the girls in the competition to boot, the dropped jaws are understandable.
Only slightly louder than Anaaga’s “You gonna get raped, little boy,” is Kyokai’s stern rejection of the boy. “The last time I checked, you were hovering in between twelve and thirteen…”
“But-buuu–” Hoshi tries to interject but anaaga whispers in her ear to get her fangirliness in check.
“Though you got the looks and style, you are just not old enough,” Kyokai points out clearly.
Oh, the cruelty of age limits. Maybe in a few years, Ciel. Maybe.
AUDITIONS TAKE #6
Once again, the camera cuts back to the Male judges, where Jrow has the most unimaginably disgusted expression on his face. What could cause such a fuss from the usually calm and collected judge? What unearthly, horrific, possibly tentacled beast could eve—
— It’s Ayumu. Ayumu in a Masou Shoujo outfit. That’s what.
“Christ! I’m sorry but…I don’t even know if you should be in this division,” Hato manages to blurt out once the initial shock has passed.
“Me neither. This wasn’t exactly my idea,” Ayumu replies, completely deadpan and obviously more than slightly embarrassed for being here, in the BISHOUJO section no less. Everything’s made worse by Junko doing her best to keep a straight face, but Ayumu could tell. Yep, it was one of those days.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re…ahem…right for this competition,” Jrow finishes diplomatically while the other judges all nod in unison.
Ayumu actually looks a little relieved to be let go so he can raid the tables of free food and never have to step in front of a camera like… like THAT.
AUDITIONS TAKE #8
The next participant at the Bishounen division is… “Who is that again?” Zabobinator looks at Overcooled questioningly.
“He seems familiar but I can’t really put my finger on it,” Overcooled looks on as the unnamed participants enters the judges’ foray.
“And you are?” anaaga asks inquiringly.
“I’m John Titor an–” Kyokai spews her OJ, while all the judges watch in rapt attention the unfolding development. “–d I’ve come a long way to participate in this competition, jumping many time lines even… I have worked real hard–”
“That we can clearly see,” Hoshi said while everyone else stares at his lab coat and some days worth of beard.
“But I know the real reason of you being here…” Kyokai let’s on, “You like moe girl cosplays, don’t you?” Seeing the bearded man blush slightly, she continues, “You are here to let go of your twisted pervy tendencies, ne~, Daru-kun?!”
As realization hits everyone, anaaga EWWS, while the rest gape on. “But we can’t have such a contestant…” Karakuri says pointedly.
“With such fetishes even… Sorry, try another timeline. Maybe.” Kyokai shuffles the heavy pile of profiles in front of her dismissing the perverted genius.
AUDITIONS TAKE #11
The Bishoujo judges become extra merry when the next contestant walks in their room. Fosh and Hato in particular brighten up instantly.
“Hello, I’m Misaka Mikoto, pleased to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine!” Hato comments before Fosh can form words.
“Why are you not wearing your uniform?” Hato looks down at the casual outfit with a sigh, not seeing the trademark leg warmers.
“I’ve not come to school, that’s why.” She raises an eyebrow at the judges.
“But you look so cute in those, Biribiri!” The words are out of Fosh’s mouth before Jrow can elbow him to shut up.
“Now you’ve done it,” Jrow whispers as Fosh blushes furiously.
“What did you call me again?” All the friendliness goes away from Mikoto’s face as the lightening blue sparks fly off her finger.
Camera crew runs outside for cover, while a resounding whipping crack is heard from the room, leaving a trail of smoke behind.
“Err… time to cut to the Bishounen division, folks!” Zabobinator sweetly smiles at the camera.
AUDITIONS TAKE #13
A quick cut back to the Bishounen judging room reveals an ocean of blood. The cameraman starts to panic a bit until he realizes that… Oh… It’s just that half of the judges are nosebleeding, while the rest are laughing like crazy. The camera quickly swivels to the cause, showing a rather unruly pair cosplaying one of the most talked about franchise of the current day and age, officially ending with its final release a few days back.
The rather pleased grin of Orihaya Izaya is matched by a wider version of Heiwajima Shizuo. Izaya has always been a man looking for something new, but…modeling of all things? Perhaps, while under the guise of modeling, he is just here to beat up Cool for cosplaying him? But a surprise of all was Shizuo actually going for the Gryffindor uniform.
“I came here for one thing and one thing only,” Izaya says suddenly, as if reading everyone’s mind, “and that’s for–”
… We all know how things went from there, right? Auditions were postponed due to the much created havoc and of course, instant disqualification for both!
SO WATCH OUT!
|Aaaaand that’s a wrap for this week! I’m sure we raised more questions than we answered though. The contestants are all getting settled in their ANTM mansion, but they’ll be ready for introductions and maybe even a photoshoot by next week! I’m afraid my contract forbids me from hinting who the contestants are but I might let you know if you guess right. Stay fabulous, everyone and see you next time!|
|This was just the diluted version of the auditions because you don’t know how much these moody participants wrecked havoc in our headquarters. Don’t even get me started on our contestants… They are worlds onto themselves so I had to raise a separate funding for the finalists to dedicate a part of Metanorn estate for the ANTM mansion. Hopefully, they will be all settled by the next episode when we would reveal them to you. Be ready to get your temperatures up because it’s going to be smokin’ hawt stuff! Ja ne~|