First Impressions – Dragon Crisis!

DEEN, stop giving me reasons to hate you

You know in movies when there’s a big explosion and the heroes or villains just walk casually away, not even turning around to look at all the destruction and debris flying their way? That’s what watching Dragon Crisis! is like. It’s happening, but you just don’t care.

We start off with a dream sequence, glowy white stuff and a pair of eyes. Uhmm… criptic? Our young shounen hero wakes up from the dream covered in sweat. Wait, was that dream supposed to be threatning in any way? Or does he just have an eye fetish? Anyway after that we see him do exciting things like eating breakfast, shutting a door and being on a train. What a pointless minute of nothing.

After the OP our protaganist, Ryuji, arrives at school where some of his friends are thrown at us. First there’s Misaki, a girl that’s so shy she fails at being human, and Masato, who is just plain creepy. We’re then treated to another stint of the mind numbingly boring, OMG DO SOMETHING, before an older girl shows up, interupting class. Her name is Eriko and she’s Ryuji’s cousin. Without a word she steals Ryuji from the classroom and shoves him into her minivan. Yes, please, take us somewhere interesting, big-breasted savoir!

Asuka Langley at your service!

Apparently she works for some treasure recovery whatsit, and has inlisted her little cousin to help. They stake out the spot where a trade is going down and there’s some thinly veiled angst and more Golem talk (seriously, Lost Precious?) before the bad guys arrive.

Then….something happens. I don’t know. Eriko has a magic stick thing that red butterflies come out of and take out all the bad guys? Okay. Fine. Whatever. I can deal with the sloppy set up later. Ryuji grabs a huge suitcase and starts loading it into the van. But the bad guys wake up and start firing their guns. I love how Ryuji is freaking out over nearly getting shot yet when his cousin summons up a horde of evil butterflies he’s just like “well that was was a little odd, wasn’t it!” URRRR.

Anyway, they have a little uninspired car chase until the suitcase latch gets shot and it opens. (Remind you of Firefly, anyone?) But no, it’s not River, in the case is our little blonde loli-dragon. She sets fire to the bad guys and …well, pretty much everything. And I have to admit, that’s pretty cool.

I’m a tiny loli-dragon, hear me ROAR!!!!!

Eriko and Ryuji take her home where it turns into the weirdest sitcom ever. Seems like the little dragon girl doesn’t like Eriko but is completely smitten with Ryuji, she even knows him name, which the other two can’t puzzle out how. Hi, remember us? We’re the audience, you’re supposed to be entertaining us. DO SOMETHING INTERESTING.

the second screenshot looks inappropriate, hurr.

Ryuji escapes to buy some food but upon his return finds chaos – or most guys’ wet dream. Two naked girls who just wanna glomp him. But, of course, because he is one of the only two personalities male protaganists get in these types of shows, he can’t even deal with it and passes out. I sure wish I was unconcious right now, sigh.

Looks like Ryuji couldn’t hold it in

After that festering pile of not funny, the three are having dinner. But they can’t just have dinner, oh no, they have to suck out a little more originally, so they rip off Elfin Lied a little. But that’s been done so many times anyway so even that just becomes Cute Scene #304. NEXT.

Eriko and Ryuji name her Rose because of the dragon shaped scales on the back of her hand. That’s Cute Scene #17, followed by #145 and #89. Sharing ice cream and waking up next to her the next morning. Oh yeah, and Ryuji gets a lapdance. Smut Rule #177, must have boobs in face a least twice per episode.Yawn. NEXT. Rose can kind of talk now since she stayed up all night watching telly. QUE MORNING ROUTINE MONTAGE. 3 seconds of NOTHING later, a helicopter suddenly shows up outside their window, ending the episode. THANK JESUS.

EXTRA SCREENSHOTS

The shows own characters don’t even find it interesting

“Man, would you look at those melons.” DUDE, she’s your cousin.

Tbh, by this point I was playing checkers on my ipod

Cute face #112

No, Dear, you’re thinking of Gin. And I’ll be needing a whole lot of it after this episode.

“It’s called the reverse cowgirl, Ryuji. I saw it on tv.”

OH HAI SHINRA’S DAD

END THOUGHTS

Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland Bland

I didn’t know I could get this angry about something so boring. Where do I even start? How about the studio? I’ll try my very best not to rant, but oh, how I hate them.

DEEN check list:

*horrible animation quality

*lousy pacing i.e nothing happens

*characters that are cliched stereotypes we’ve seen a hundred times

*anything even vaugley interesting is waven in front of the audience like a tasty slice of pizza then immediately THROWN TO THE FLOOR AND STAMPED ON….!

….

Rose is the only thing that can save this for me. She’s adorable. And when she torched those guys that was the only interesting thing about this episode. Eriko’s personality is having big boobs while Ryuji has no personality whatsoever. He’s a boring pansy who needs a fire lit under his ass, I’m only hoping Rose will oblidge. Why can’t fantasy animes be good? What is it about it that’s so hard? It’s a genre with practically no rules and I don’t think I can name a single scene in this that I haven’t seen before in another show. I’m not whelmed, not whelmed at all.

I’ll give this show another 3 episodes and if it doesn’t pick up I’m just gonna stab it stab it in the face pretend I’ve never heard of it. Which shouldn’t be too hard, seeing as how it’s about as memorable as a sales call.

NEXT EPISODE Who cares?

About

Metanorn's resident perverted princess and porn critic; she covers the overlooked, the underrated and the down right stupid. No anime is safe from her critical eye, but throw something Jun Fukuyama related in her direction and she'll turn into a useless puddle of fangirl goo.
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42 Responses to “First Impressions – Dragon Crisis!”

  1. Carla says:

    Mmm, I do not know a lot about DEEN, but it can not be This bad :S
    There are good DEEN´s productions, like Hetalia Axis power, Jigoku shoujo, Higurashi no naku koro ni (I have to accept that in this last one, the horrible animation quality ruined the argument), but they did an amazing Job with Umineko no naku koro ni.
    Even Vampire knight was great.
    But I admit that this one is incredibly stupid.
    Good job making the First impressions, and thanks for save from download this one xD
    (Sorry if I wrote something weong ;3)

    • Hime says:

      Haha, it probably isn’t THAT bad, but I like to get angry what can I say? 😛

      There are a few DEEN stuff I like, I should stress that xD I adore Vampire Knight. (but the last 2 episodes of the second season did not happen, you hear me? THEY DID NOT HAPPEN. *twitch*) I love GetBackers, and even Nurarihyon from last years autum season had top notch quality but the majority of DEEN shows churned out are just plain awful. (IMO, of course)

      I thought the animation in Umineko was terrible! I mean, I didn’t like it anyway (to cracky for me) but sometimes it was so lazy…, and that’s my real problem with DEEN. They can get their hands on a decent or even good show but then its like they throw their worst artists at it.

      Even Hetalia looks like crap, it’s funny as hell, but it still looks like crap.

      • Carla says:

        I read vampire knight´s manga, and I was really angry about the stupid ending that they did, I mean, I do not believe that they could do another season, because they did what they wanted with the anime in the last episodes.
        And I know, Hetalia looks like crap T.T (But I still want to rape all the characters)
        And about the quality, I´ve got a rare way to think if an anime has good quality or if it does not, It depends about how many charapters in that anime I would like to rape X3

        Thanks for all, I will Keep reading your post ;3

  2. tariirii says:

    *throws Molotov Cocktail to DEEN*

    I kinda like the first ep. but i shall see how the next ep goes. DEEN’s animes are ALWAYS disappointing (except for Hetalia though). The quality of the animes drop too quickly.

    Rose is soo cute!
    Uugh. I HATE HATE HATE Rie Kugimiya. Her voice is too high pitched and annoying for me. >->

    Quite a lot of this season’s animes are disappointing. ._.

    • Hime says:

      I think we’re all just desensitized to DEEN now, it’s like “We know you’re just gonna suck, we have no hope.” XD

      A lot of stuff does seem dissapointing but it’s a lot of shows first weeks so they might pick up. A lot of people thought Shiki was gonna go nowhere and it turned into one of the favorites of the season! (definately not thinking that about this one tho xD)

      Like I said, I’ll give it a few more angry posts and see if they lessen in hatred. Can’t make any promises tho xD

  3. Junko says:

    Kinda looks like it was made in flash. Or hell, photoshop. For some reason their hair dosn’t look like it’s their hair. More like wigs. Badly worn wigs.

    Think I’ll miss iiiit.

  4. Foshizzel says:

    Yeah have to agree with Hime here this was really boring…some cute designs but overall didn’t hold my interest and its the typical Rie character type.

    • Hime says:

      I kept picturing Chi from Chobits whenever Rose was on screen, especially when she was pointing to herself and saying her name. Rie can you do no other character?! But doing that was only rly reminding be of a better show I’d rather be watching.

      Good thing I have it on DVD 😀 *goes off to watch Chobits*

  5. Hato-kun says:

    Man, are you guys for serious? I actually really enjoyed the first episode.

    Maybe I hit my head really hard when I was a kid. Or maybe I just like bad anime? But I thought this was good and you all think this is bad? Who is right?

    Nevermind me, internal monologue. (Everyone’s hair in the show was cool. Haters gonna hate.)

    • Robert says:

      Well, then you are not the only one that hit his head :/ I realy liked first episode, and I’ll keep watching it :)

    • Hime says:

      Haha I thought I was the one who was the masochist and liked bad anime xD Oh well, I’ll probably still be covering the next few eps of this to see if I can warm to it.

      What about it did you like, Hato?

  6. Overcooled says:

    LOLLLL Hime, you’re so dry, I love it. I’m kind of surprised though because I quite LIKED the first episode. It’s a valid point to be annoyed by all the “RYUJI! RYUJI!” *BEWBS IN YER FACE*, but there seems to be the promise of something slightly more than that. I was pretty pumped up during the chase scene in the car, and want to know more about Rose and what happens next.

    Also, the music is somehow awesome o_o

    • Gunny says:

      Same here. And I think that it was somewhat better than GOSICK’s first episode (minus the animation). And yeah, I hit my head when I was 5. It was painful. (:

    • Hime says:

      Rose is interesting, if you look beyond her 3 year old mindset, I mean…She’s a dragon yano! I wanna see more of that. definately. and tbf the preview of the next episode does look a lot more eventful, so I’m clinging to some hope that I’ll enjoy it more than this one. A lot more people like it than I’d thought so I don’t really want to write it off as a no-blogzone, but then I don’t want angry fans chasing me with sticks if I want to rant about it xD

    • Carla says:

      If Overcooled said that, mmm, maybe I will give a chance to this anime.
      I loved The Overcooled´s posts about Shiki, So I think That maybe I would like this one; I mean, Maybe we have Similar likes, so I will watch this one tonight :3

      Sorry If I wrote something Wrong T_T

      • Gunny says:

        are you brazilian by any chances? D8 if you don’t know what “brazilian” means then sorry for disturbing :3

      • Overcooled says:

        @Hime My favourite posts to read are ranting posts, even if I totally disagree with them XD I hope this doesn’t become a pain for you to watch though…

        @Carla I…*BLUSH*…I CAN’T EVEN BE SARCASTIC IN RETURN, THAT WAS JUST TOO SWEET OF YOU TT_TT

        • Hime says:

          I survived Fushigi Yuugi (just) I will get through Dragon Crisis! I’ll just have a bottle of Gin beside me at all times.

        • Carla says:

          Hahahaha, I knew you were a Tsundere :3

  7. Kyokai says:

    I haven’t watched this; I’m not gonna watch this. My current watch-list is already 20+, thank you very much. :3

    Btw, DEEN usually does the bishie-type shows quite well, like Hakuouki and Junjou to name a few. Also, I liked their Korewa Zombie this season which is interesting. Sad to see their animation taking a dive for this though.

    • Hime says:

      being a yaoi fan I love JunJou, but the animation still sucked at times.

      But yeah if you already have so many other shows I wouldn’t waste time on this one XD tho I’ll stick with it for as long as I can, it might make some good rant posts.

  8. Jubbz says:

    When Rose came into the picture and started saying Ryuji’s name over and over, i thought i was watching Toradora again when i realized that was the infamous Tsundere queen saying that name…

    Anyway, I… am i the only one who actually thought Rose was moe?

    Am i the only one who didn’t hate this show right off the bat…?

  9. anaaga says:

    lol hime i admire you for watching it halfway. it wasn’t even 10 minutes and i already dropped it. bcz i didn’t see the rest of the episode, i won’t say anything about it. but damn that first 10 minutes was boring.

    those days when DEEN was pretty all right is GONE GONE GONE. they can redeem themselves only by either making another yaoi anime (HEHE) or making the third season of vampire knight (which i think we won’t get after the manga is done). NEED TO SEE MOAR ZERO

    • Hime says:

      I think DEEN should just make yaois, then at least people would watch it for the smut and they wouldn’t have to worry about substance, which seems to be the studio’s weak point.

      You can never have enough Zero, I agree, there should be a third season, or better still, they should re-do the last 2 episodes of the second season and give us a non-bullshit ending.

      The manga is still going but I hate it. There’s too much Kaname and Yuuki failcest and not enough yakuzaZero!

  10. Tofu says:

    I really enjoyed Dragon Crisis xD And I don’t know if I’m just too predictable because of who I am but honestly I really don’t know, it’s an unconscious thing, nor can I really explain why I like this show… Maybe because it’s a cute setting? Kinda reminds me of Chobits and I really liked chobits. The action was awesome, butterflies? Meh I’ve seen worst. Well, I AM the guy who likes watching Rio: Rainbow Gate AND Infinite Stratos (Which I still think is epic~) so yeah~ Totally following this series

    • Hime says:

      I am starting to wonder if I was a bit harsh xD But I hated it and wasn’t going to sugar coat what I thought. Since more than I expected liked this show I’ll probably keep blogging it and hopefully my rage will go down, haha.

      • Tofu says:

        LOLS, it’s all good Hime, we all have to voice our opinions, it’s good we have a variety, makes things more fun ^^ I’d say give it a few more episodes and I’ll look forward to the future blogs of Dragon Crisis!

  11. Elyon says:

    This whole episode is like one big blur in my brain. @w@ I remember Shimono Hiro’s voice, some kind of car chase, a discussion I was too bored to follow, and the cuteness of Rose. But other than that…nothing.

    “Looks like Ryuji couldn’t hold it in.”

    I’m not even kidding when I say I literally spit my drink all over the place. xD

  12. sassy says:

    I didn’t think this episode was bad. Not one of my top picks, but I’ll probably follow it if I have time.

    And Rose is only acceptable when she’s shooting fire.

    • Hime says:

      If there’s more of the dragon fire I might be able to survive 😛

  13. wildfire says:

    ohhh good. I wasn’t the only one falling asleep while watching the first episode of the series…

    • Hime says:

      You definately weren’t, I’ve hardly even been so glad to see an episode finish.

  14. Dan-go says:

    Does anyone get the word pun on the boring useless friend “eto san”? eto sa, is a way of filling in time in a conversation much like “ummm”, or “errr”

  15. Giraffe says:

    I don’t think the animation quality was that bad.. pacing wasn’t too bad, but I found it a little bit interesting. I’ll continue watching, having average hopes 😀

  16. Dan-go says:

    2nd episode was ten zillion times better than the first

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