“We are breaking out teh box!”

[Gif credit above goes to fourfour]

Seriously, my TV life would be really boring without some unhealthy modeling reality TV junk XD.

Sooooo, this cycle is only exclusive for girls 5’7 under. Making this ANTM’s very first petite cycle. I bet Tyra got inspired by Fo from last cycle so she started out a cycle where they plan to kick away any means of “height discrimination” in the industry. So this means this cycle would be the biggest freakshow of the smallest.

Tyra’s fake French accent is seriously annoying and ineffective when you’re trying to be inspirational or anything.

Ciara’s reaction upon seeing her was exactly the same thing I would do. “She’s a monster! She’s a monster!”.

Brittany’s my pre-show favorite, actually. Seeing her now makes me like her a bit more. She’s a math major. And beauty + brains is just always win. MAJOR FAVORITE, BBs.

Going on to another pre-show favorite, here’s Kara… And what happened to her? I absolutely love her pre-show picture, but seeing her for real in the actual show is just… she’s so meh. But I still love her though. She has androgynous features (aka DRAG. j/k XD) But I still like her~ FOURTH FAVORITE, BBs.

And here’s another one favorite girl pre-show: Lulu. I like her because she’s lesbian, she has tatoos on her boobs…. AND SHE’S BLACK! <33

And I also like Rae. Sure she’s quite old-looking, as most people would say, but I gotta like her for staying really strong despite the dark story behind her. She got abducted on a gas station, got raped, violated (wait- those are the same right?), and get dropped on to another gas station again.

And I loved her more after seeing her DIVINE photo! Which you’ll see on the second half of this premiere post ^^.

HERE GOES ANOTHER ONE OF ALLISON’S MINIONS!!! Run for yer lives!!! No just kidding, I actually like her! She’s soooooooooooooo cute!!!

And I bet people on /tv/ would love her too:

New. Face. Of. Fashion.

And speaking of faces…

OH NOES THE BALD BITCH HORRORS ARE BACK!!!

Anyway,

Laura definitely wins me over on this premiere. She’s just so adorable. So let’s feature a mini corner on her slice-of-life on the South:

This is how she curls her hair with toilet paper:

And this is how you do high fashion in the South:

And also, she CASTRATES COWS!!! …A HUNDRED A DAY!

So steps are:

“You squeeze the nuts…”

“And you push ’em up in yer belly, you cut the sack off…”

“…And you pull it, it’ll just break off.”

So she only needs blue hair and WE HAVE OUR SHIRATORI, BBs <3

And her teary reactions on the call-outs are winning me over her more. I just love this country girl~

And finally, drumroll please.

Then we’re here to this Jesus-loving girl, Amber, who’s given a task by the Almighty to save the world. Err… In any way joining ANTM would help you save the world?

It’s her catwalk. Meooow~

Ugh, y’all just watch her casting video. She’s too… inexplicable.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5eiPJit51c

So she “used to be a crazy girl before” but lol still look who’s talking. But hey, I love her craziness. Too bad she got to leave for “personal reasons” after being chosen to be a part of the Top 14. It’s speculated though that she was just trolling ANTM. Seems like she’s already an aspiring actress in 5’8 anyway, and that’s a major don’t. Or perhaps she’s hired to entertain in the cycle’s premiere? Those or she’s just off her meds.

Then here’s Bloody Eyeball. Who was well… born with a bloody eyeball. Well, she’s definitely the anti-social weirdo girl of the cycle. Not to mention…

She’s highly narcisstic. Painting photos of herself like that. And well, did I already mentioned what a weirdo she is? She also brings a rusty wheelbarrow to school instead of a backpack. She’s the ‘boring’ one who turns out to be unintentionally entertaining.

Did I mentioned her after getting called in the Final 14?

Wow. At least she’s not trying to be all annoying with the spazzing excitement.

And I love how she’s very stoic. She doesn’t totally care about everything around her at all and will just give you these reactions like the situations below:

“HELLO NICOLE! SPAAZZZSPAAAZZZ!!!!SPAZZSPAZZ”

Nicole:

“Hello Nicole, I walk in crutches!!!”

Nicole:

“Hello Nicole, I don’t have any running water so I poopshit at McDonalds. Isn’t that soooo hardcore?”

Nicole:

“Hello Nicole, I draw my best fanart of me and my family! I lurve them so much~”

Nicole:

“Hello Nicole, FUUUUCK YEAH!!!” <- Says Erin

Nicole:

“Hello Nicole, Sundai is a small critter below your recliner trying to eat you later on~”

Nicole:

“Hello Nic–“

Nicole: