“We are breaking out teh box!”

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[Gif credit above goes to fourfour]

Seriously, my TV life would be really boring without some unhealthy modeling reality TV junk XD.

Sooooo, this cycle is only exclusive for girls 5’7 under. Making this ANTM’s very first petite cycle. I bet Tyra got inspired by Fo from last cycle so she started out a cycle where they plan to kick away any means of “height discrimination” in the industry. So this means this cycle would be the biggest freakshow of the smallest.

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Tyra’s fake French accent is seriously annoying and ineffective when you’re trying to be inspirational or anything.

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Ciara’s reaction upon seeing her was exactly the same thing I would do. “She’s a monster! She’s a monster!”.

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Brittany’s my pre-show favorite, actually. Seeing her now makes me like her a bit more. She’s a math major. And beauty + brains is just always win. MAJOR FAVORITE, BBs.

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Going on to another pre-show favorite, here’s Kara… And what happened to her? I absolutely love her pre-show picture, but seeing her for real in the actual show is just… she’s so meh. But I still love her though. She has androgynous features (aka DRAG. j/k XD) But I still like her~ FOURTH FAVORITE, BBs.

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And here’s another one favorite girl pre-show: Lulu. I like her because she’s lesbian, she has tatoos on her boobs…. AND SHE’S BLACK! <33

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And I also like Rae. Sure she’s quite old-looking, as most people would say, but I gotta like her for staying really strong despite the dark story behind her. She got abducted on a gas station, got raped, violated (wait- those are the same right?), and get dropped on to another gas station again.

And I loved her more after seeing her DIVINE photo! Which you’ll see on the second half of this premiere post ^^.

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HERE GOES ANOTHER ONE OF ALLISON’S MINIONS!!! Run for yer lives!!! No just kidding, I actually like her! She’s soooooooooooooo cute!!!

And I bet people on /tv/ would love her too:

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New. Face. Of. Fashion.

And speaking of faces…

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OH NOES THE BALD BITCH HORRORS ARE BACK!!!

Anyway,

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Laura definitely wins me over on this premiere. She’s just so adorable. So let’s feature a mini corner on her slice-of-life on the South:

This is how she curls her hair with toilet paper:

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And this is how you do high fashion in the South:

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And also, she CASTRATES COWS!!! …A HUNDRED A DAY!

So steps are:

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“You squeeze the nuts…”

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“And you push ‘em up in yer belly, you cut the sack off…”

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“…And you pull it, it’ll just break off.”

So she only needs blue hair and WE HAVE OUR SHIRATORI, BBs <3

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And her teary reactions on the call-outs are winning me over her more. I just love this country girl~

And finally, drumroll please.

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Then we’re here to this Jesus-loving girl, Amber, who’s given a task by the Almighty to save the world. Err… In any way joining ANTM would help you save the world?

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It’s her catwalk. Meooow~

Ugh, y’all just watch her casting video. She’s too… inexplicable.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5eiPJit51c

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So she “used to be a crazy girl before” but lol still look who’s talking. But hey, I love her craziness. Too bad she got to leave for “personal reasons” after being chosen to be a part of the Top 14. It’s speculated though that she was just trolling ANTM. Seems like she’s already an aspiring actress in 5’8 anyway, and that’s a major don’t. Or perhaps she’s hired to entertain in the cycle’s premiere? Those or she’s just off her meds.

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Then here’s Bloody Eyeball. Who was well… born with a bloody eyeball. Well, she’s definitely the anti-social weirdo girl of the cycle. Not to mention…

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She’s highly narcisstic. Painting photos of herself like that. And well, did I already mentioned what a weirdo she is? She also brings a rusty wheelbarrow to school instead of a backpack. She’s the ‘boring’ one who turns out to be unintentionally entertaining.

Did I mentioned her after getting called in the Final 14?

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Wow. At least she’s not trying to be all annoying with the spazzing excitement.

And I love how she’s very stoic. She doesn’t totally care about everything around her at all and will just give you these reactions like the situations below:

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“HELLO NICOLE! SPAAZZZSPAAAZZZ!!!!SPAZZSPAZZ”

Nicole:

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“Hello Nicole, I walk in crutches!!!”

Nicole:

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“Hello Nicole, I don’t have any running water so I poopshit at McDonalds. Isn’t that soooo hardcore?”

Nicole:

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“Hello Nicole, I draw my best fanart of me and my family! I lurve them so much~”

Nicole:

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“Hello Nicole, FUUUUCK YEAH!!!” <- Says Erin

Nicole:

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“Hello Nicole, Sundai is a small critter below your recliner trying to eat you later on~”

Nicole:

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“Hello Nic–”

Nicole:

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8 Responses to ““We are breaking out teh box!””

  1. Kairu says:

    What? Allison minions? Where!? Who? Oh wow.

  2. fenixdown110 says:

    LOL @ the creepy Tyra gif. :XD:

  3. squiggles says:

    Lol, good on them for holding a “petite” edition of the show…

    …but doesn’t that pretty much cancel out the TOP MODEL idea behind ANTM? I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway, they never manage to get a top model out of these shows anyway. c:

  4. Ashelea says:

    O_O. That Tyra gif was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in this entire site.

    Was Amber really got hired/just trolling? I totally cried when I found out she was out of the competition T_T. She’s just pure entertainment. But I also felt that she’s acting anyway because she looks so obvious doing so.

    And my favorites are Courtney, Rae and Brittany. Nicole was very entertaining too :haha:

  5. juillian says:

    Bloody Eyeballs = :love:

  6. issa-sa says:

    As a math major (in the making) myself I’m really not sure what to think about Brittany :S

    And I hope Nicole stays long enough on the show to kill someone in their sleep for being too annoying XD

  7. Jessica says:

    I LOLED FOREVER.

  8. Leeya says:

    Jokes on you cause I LOVED Nicole- she was the most real. And all those little backstabbing girls you picked as your pre-favorites, all went home after blatantly hating on her. And Nicole won,and shes prob the only one who will actually get work after the show.

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