Offer Up Your Hearts!
Tonight, a mystery beneath the Wall, are we really safe? Also more of our constant coverage on the enemies of humanity: the Titans.
Hello all, this is Overcooled the weather woman (with a name like this it’s a miracle I hadn’t thought of jumping to this profession before) and I’m here for a very special coverage of Attack on Titan.
Hello to our viewers at home! I’m Karakuri, the on-scene reporter, here to bring you the latest news right from the scene (you know… like the title “on-scene reporter” suggests).
I’m supposed to be covering a flower show? Can someone direct me to the flower show?
The gang’s all here, and their hearts are pumpin’!
IreneSharda// Good evening. Welcome to Metanorn News, I’m Irene Sharda. Our top story this evening is the aftermath of the catastrophic event that shook the inner cities. More than a hundred people dead and no answers from the government or the military. For more on this, we will go to the scene at Wall Sina, with our senior field correspondent, Eneri Adrahs. Eneri?
skylion//…am I on? Hello!?
Irene: Sorry about that folks, that was Sky Lion at our annual flower show. We had a bit of a mic error, which I believe they have now corrected? Eneri? Are you there?
Hey, Mikasa, Eren! Get up, the plot’s started up again!
[At Wall Sina]
Ereni Adrahs// Yes, I have you. Hello, Irene. I am currently standing in the courtyard right next to Wall Sina, and the scene here can only be described as ‘grisly’. Despite only taking place moments ago, the display witnessed here truly felt like it was took four years off my life. While there is no official response coming from authorities, several eye witnesses state that they in fact saw Titans–yes, Titans, fighting within the city. And as you can see around me by all the rubble, this certainly seems to have been a fight on epic proportions. The Recon Corps and the Military Police Brigade seems to be working together in response to this event, while they have kept out most reporters, we have a source that will get us an inside look at what is going on. Back to you, Irene.
Irene: Thank you Eneri. We’ll be returning back to his coverage at the wall in a moment. In the meantime, we will take a look at our local weather report with meteorologist, Over Cooled. OC?
Hello, a lovely day isn’t it?
[Within Wall Sina]
OverCooled//We have some lovely weather today within the comforts of our glorious city. It’s a pleasantly sunny day with only a few clouds, sitting at a perfect 20 degrees celsius. Everything is going fine! Just a lovely day to go out and take a long look at the beauty of the walls protecting us. Hmm…it seems there’s a new art installation added. How tasteful! The image of a red face peeking at us almost seems like a Titan but that would be impossible right? Right? Anyways, it’s great weather to slug down some undiluted vodka if you happen to make eye contact with that ghastly abomination…I mean tasteful art installation. That’s definitely art. No need to panic everyone!
Irene: Hold on a moment. Did I hear you right, OC? You say there is a Titan in the walls? Wait one moment, it seems that we are getting more from on location with our field correspondent. Eneri, can you tell us what you see?
[Back at Wall Sina]
Eneri: Irene, you wouldn’t believe me if I simply told you, but as you can see, we are showing you live right now, we can confirm there is indeed a Titan–yes, a Titan, inside of Wall Sina! And not only is it inside, but it is very much alive. The military are currently too stupefied to give comment, and are like the rest of us, just looking up in awe at what can only be called the ‘secret of the century’! It’s just amazing and just plain terrifying what we are seeing here today. And one has to ask themselves, is this simply Wall Sina? Or are all three Walls filled with the very things they were designed to protect the public from? It is a very troubling thought. We’ll try to gather more on this story as it progresses, back to you–hold on! Wait a moment! It looks like there is movement around the Wall Titan!
The Recon Corps seems to be attempting to cover it up with ropes and tarps, all under the direction of what looks like Pastor Nick of the Wall Church. Are they attempting to literally ‘cover up’ what happened here today? I have to say, a little ‘too little, too late’ for that. It seems that he’s about to convene with a female officer in charge along the wall’s highest parapets. We’ll see if we can get a statement at a later time as to what exactly, is going on. Back to you, Irene.
‘Let go’? Hmm, poor choice of words…
Irene: Thank you, Eneri. And we’ll be sure to check back on this breaking story within the hour. However, being not the only eyes on the ground, we will now check in the field correspondent, Kara Kuri. Kara? How are people taking this sudden upset to life in the innermost cities?
Karakuri// Hello, Irene. I’m here in front of a cabin with a witness who actually saw the Titans during their rampage. Ma’am, could you please describe to me what happened earlier today?
Oldlady//“Well I was just at home minding my own business when I heard this awful thumping noise in the distance, and I figured that it was just those kids and their wild parties again. It happens every so often, you know. I was about to send off a noise complaint letter to the military when suddenly, a bunch of giant, naked men came right into my yard (completely ignoring the “keep off the grass” sign) and trampled the violets I had spent 20 years raising. Naked! In this neighbourhood! I am shocked that the government would allow such public indecency! I would expect this kind of thing in the city, but not out in the woods. We keep to ourselves out here, you know. Is this what they’re teaching kids these days? To ruin poor widow’s yards? I absolutely cannot understand how the government would allow this, and why they didn’t do anything about it after. In my day, people were normal sized, wore clothing, and were respectful of their elder’s property. We didn’t have much, but at least we taught our children manners and respect. If he weren’t already dead, my husband would have probably had another heart attack to see the state of his garden now.
Anyways, a few minutes after the incident, those young military men in those fancy jackets and swords came by. Not only did they (rather rudely, if you ask me) refuse my offer to come inside for a cup of tea, they had the audacity to try and force an old woman out of her house shouting “Ma’am, it’s dangerous here! There are Titans!” Good heavens, OF COURSE I know that there are Titans around. My poor violets are never going to be the same. Do they think I’m senile? The government is obviously spending too much money on those complicated flying contraptions and not enough on teaching their soldiers common etiquette.
It’s a wonder I even pay taxes at all these days. My niece on my late sister’s side (bless her soul) in the capital just recently wrote a letter to me complaining about a hideous face in the wall that was lowering her property value. I know city planning had renovations going on, but if this is their idea of “beautifying the city”, I am not impressed at all. I guess they got enough complaints to get rid of it eventually, but instead of fixing it, they just covered it up with an ugly tarp! Where is my tax money going?! And that’s not even mentioning those awful screaming noises I heard towards where the soldiers stay today. I assume it was another one of those wild parties. The noises went on for an obscene amount of time, but no military personnel seemed to come to put a stop to it despite them barging through door just minutes before. Can’t they hire more people to deal with noise violations? I would have gone to check on it myself, but these knees aren’t what they used to be, and I can’t move around like I want to these days. Did they expect an old woman like me to go deal with these things myself? The nerve of some people. Isn’t that what I’m paying them taxes for?? Believe me, the government and military will be receiving a VERY strongly worded letter from me shortly about all of this. In all of my years, I have never been this outraged.”
Sasha, we have no time for your potato god summoning dances right now. You have to help me get ready for my role as Spider-Gwen in the newest Marvel movie!
Kara: So as you can see, citizens behind Wall Rose are very rattled after the incident today. Back to you, Irene.
Irene: Thank you for that in depth look, Kara. It seems that tales of this Wall Titan have already begun to circulate among the populace. It’s just one thing after another. But before we continue with our coverage of this story, let’s check in with our weather forecast, with meteorologist, Over Cooled. OC? It seems that you changed location?
[Just in front of Mike as he’s being devoured by Titans]
OC: Hello again folks! Here at Metanorn News we don’t just cover local weather, but weather from all around. Here I am at that popular spot: The Grouping Of Like Three Houses Where Mike Fights Some Creepy Titans. I wasn’t expecting showers, but there will be some heavy rain. Very heavy. I’m glad I brought my umbrella to make sure all this red rain doesn’t get all over my clothes. Red rain is pretty common around these parts, but don’t ask me why. Or why it’s so thick. Or why it’s accompanied with screams of agony. Anyways, nothing like some April showers to bring May flowers! Bye Mike!
Did you guys just hear some freakishly horrid screams just now? Nah, it was probably just the wind.
Irene: Uh…Okay, thank you OC…and our hearts and prayers go to the family of that young Recon Corps officer. Thank you for your service.
Before we return to the chaos in the capital, Is anything else happening out there, OC? From what we can tell, that location looks to be inside of Wall Rose. But that can’t be, can it? Can you tell us what you see?
[At Wall Rose]
OC: Here we are, a little farther out than usual. Oh my, it seems very breezy today. Yes, quite the gusty day. I guess that would be because the Wall has been broken down and all. Not a problem though! I could always appreciate a little redecorating. That dusty old thing needed a window anyways. It lets you take in the beautiful scenery across the horizon. Yep, nothing wrong here. Except..hmm…there might be some red rain soon if I stay here for any longer.
Irene: Wait, what? Are you telling me that Wall Rose has fallen? OC? Over, can you hear me?
Well, it looks like our connection has been cut off for the moment. We’ll see if we can get it back. Until then, we will be continuing our coverage on these breaking stories throughout the day. This is Irene Sharda at Metanorn News, and that’s the way it is.
Alright guys, it’s time to rebuild the Wall. It’s time to keep out some bad hombres!
[in an obnoxious French accent] A FEW HOURS LATER…
Irene: Good Evening, this is Irene Sharda with new reports in regards to the catastrophe events that occurred earlier today. We head back to our field correspondent, Eneri Adrahs at the capital. Eneri, what can you tell us?
Eneri: Well, actually Irene, I’m no longer in the capital, word has traveled fast and the Recon Corps led by Commander Erwin have already headed out to the next disaster site. Yes, the hits keep coming as indeed the new darkest day has descended upon humanity with the falling of Wall Rose. Titans have already begun to descend upon humanity and one has to ask: What does this mean for mankind and will the third and last wall, Wall Sina, be next?
Irene: That is highly disturbing news, Eneri. Is there anything else you can tell us that can at least provide some sense of hope for those viewing at home.
For Meat and Potatoeeeessss!!!!!!!
Eneri: Normally, I would have thought all was lost, Irene, but I’m sure OC would agree. Every cloud has a silver lining. I’m currently beyond the capital and reports have already begun pouring in that the Recon Corps and Wall Guard have begun moving as many refugees as they can away from the immediate danger zones. With them, come tales of bravery of our military men and women who are risking their very lives for us everyday.
One little girl I talked to, reports of a potato-wielding Recon Corps soldier who single-handedly pulled her from out of the very jaws of danger when her mother had been killed by a Titan and she could only watch in terrified silence. The girl thought for sure that all was lost, but even with a uniform or gear, this young woman from to Corps fought with only an ax and bow and arrows, and rescued them both from certain death. And this isn’t the only story that has begun to be told far and wide of the bravery of our military heroes as the ride far and wide trying to evacuate the area.
Of course I didn’t see it! You can’t see ANYTHING out here!
Irene: And we of course honor all of our courageous men and women who are putting themselves on the line in order to keep us safe, and especially during this perilous time. Can you tell us if you have heard of some kind of plan in the works to deal with this ghastly situation?
Eneri: Well, as far as we have heard there are reports that the Recon Corps and Wall Guard are cooperating in order to find the hole within Wall Rose, riding along the entire circumference. It is assumed that once they find the entrance point, they will try to find a way to plug the hole and to then take care of the Titans that have already wandered inside.
Hmm, who has the creepiest face?
Irene: You mean they have yet to find a hole the size of a Titan? It’s getting very late, will they be able to see in such pitch blackness?
Eneri: No, they are still looking for the entry point, but I’m sure it won’t be long. As you say, it would be hard to miss a hole the size of a Titan, right? And while the cloud cover is causing it to be as dark as ink out there, there shouldn’t be any cause to worry. It’s known that Titans can’t move at night and that should give our military at least some advantage. I mean, could you imagine how creepy it would be if Titans would be roaming about in the inky darkness just waiting to grab you without you even being able to see it coming?
I’m hearing voices again…
Irene: Probably almost as creepy as a Titan actually talk to you…now that would be horrifying.
Eneri: Indeed, I couldn’t even imagine.
Irene: Well, keep warm out there, Eneri and we’ll see you soon.
Eneri: We’ll continue to keep our ear to the ground for any new developments and update you throughout the day. This is Eneri Adrahs from Metanorn News.
I can’t wait! Let’s do this!
Irene: Thank you Eneri, and as we continue our constant coverage of the situation that continues to grow surrounding the disaster at our Walls, we will be watching for any breaking developments in this horrifying story. This is Irene Sharda at Metanorn News, and that’s the way it is.
I never know to expect a full recap when a series finally continues after a few years’ break or not, but I guess Attack on Titan mostly opted to just throw people into the action after a small recap. I think it worked pretty well though, since the episode was pretty exciting and contained a bunch of new information for the new season to integrate. Plus there’s the horror of watching people get eaten alive! Hooray! I’m excited for the new season, since the last one was pretty fun (though depressing) to watch. This season seems like it will be more of where the first season was going, only with political intrigue, which should be fun. Personally though, I’m just hoping for another glimpse of Mikasa’s god-like abs.
Joking aside, I really liked this first episode of Attack on Titan. It does such a good job making character death as brutal as humanly possible. Mike gives up then regains his courage and lets out a mighty cry…only to revert back to pants-wetting cowardice as he’s eaten by a group of ugly Titans. That’s also the image the show purposely chose to end on so it’d be the most salient in our memories. That’s savage! But that’s what I came here for – lots of action and minimal amounts of common sense. For example, the revelation about the Titan in the wall was so sudden that I actually wasn’t able to process what was happening. I legitimately didn’t get it. I thought he was behind the wall and just, you know, chilling and playing peek-a-boo. At this point, I can’t tell if the story-telling is too jarring or if I just set my brain to auto-pilot since while watching this.
The rest is basically setting us up for the series to continue on in its gory fashion. We’re going to learn more about the past lives of Sasha and Connie, which usually is a death flag in this kind of show. I can only hope it isn’t, but pretty much anything is a bad omen and I’m on my toes. I guess you could say I’m excited. I’m a little more aware at how goofy this show gets sometimes and how mainstream it is now, but that hasn’t curbed my enthusiasm quite yet. Bring on the red rain!!!
Well, the fight for humanity has begun once again, and we actually are picking up right where we left off. It’s quite interesting that the series that’s been on hiatus for 4 years is the one that dives right back in with little to no recap, where other series like Boku no Hero, which were only on break for a year, have about two episodes worth of recap. But it doesn’t feel like there was much time lost, probably because of the tons of SnK side material and copycats that WIT Studios had put out in the intermittent years. I got right back in gear and we continue to get new reveals on what is going on with the Titans and the Walls. It was interesting to learn that the Walls themselves are made our of Titans, but it explains how they could have been built while humanity was surviving roving Titan threats. Titans themselves are beginning to get stranger and stranger. We meet the grotesque looking Beast Titan, which was a thing of nightmares. Almost as creepy as the Titan that tells Connie “welcome home”…
Sasha’s backstory was nice though not very interesting. Her hillbilly-like upbringing along with her protecting the little girl from the Titan was nice to see. The secrets we are beginning to learn about the Walls is fascinating and I can’t wait to find out more about Krysta. She of all characters seemed the least suspicious, unlike characters like Ymir, Reiner, and Bertholt, who have been sending my spider senses into ultimate overdrive. My current theory about Titans being the result of human experimentation gone horribly wrong intensifies, especially after that scene with Connie as the suspicious nature of what went on in his village. We’ll have to see more as the story continues to reveal more and more.
Nope, nothing suspicious here. See ya soon…