Gate – 11-12 [INTERMISSION]

Gate 12

Everybody loves Itami.

What would Sumairii do? That is the question.



That Which Sumairii Approves Of

Gate 1201

A moment of elegance.

Sumairii is a great man. A hero. A legend, even. So the only thing natural for Sumairii to do is write a post about the lastest two episodes of the Japanese animated TV show referred to as Gate. In this post, Sumairii discusses some of the things these episodes did well, and question some of the things they did not do so well. In all His infinite wisdom, Sumairii realizes that the only thing particularly good about these episodes is the establishment of a town around the Alnus refugee camp. Sumairii’s stunning intellect allows him to interpret this development as a great opportunity for locals from both sides of the gate to get to know each other in a peaceful manner. Of course, it remains to be seen whether the show actually possesses enough brilliance to match Sumairii’s visionary mind and make good on this insight. But Sumairii already knows that the show will inevitably leverage the cultural exchange aspect because He is just that good. Sumairii comes from the future, after all.

Gate 1202

Touch fluffy cat girl.

Sumairii also knows that Gate has done justice in introducing a plethora of monster girls. Rabbit girl bar wenches who may be spies are good. Bird girls with large, feathery hood ornaments are good. Fluffy cat girls in aprons are justice. Sumairii saw that all three have been added to the show, and it was good. If there is anything that can come remotely close to melting the stone cold, hardened heart of the magnificent icon that is Sumairii, it would be a fluffy cat girl in an apron. But Sumairii understands that despite all His greatness, He can also make mistakes. Mistakes such as almost forgetting to mention the political movements set in play by the beautiful and tasty Princess Piña to undermine her father and his war hawk supporters in an effort to broker peace between the empire and Japan. Of course, having mentioned the near oversight now, Sumairii continues His unending streak of never making any mistakes, ever. To celebrate His continuing preeminence, Sumairii sees fit to mention that He likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Slurp.

That Which Sumairii Does Not Approve Of

Gate 1101

Rory gets what Rory wants.

Having shared all that is right with these two episodes in His benevolence, Sumairii now demonstrates His wrath by striking down upon the show with great vengeance and furious anger for the sins it has committed in these last two episodes. Chiefly, the show makes a puny attempt to elevate one as lowly as Itami to a position not even one-tenth in stature of the full glory that is Sumairii’s resplendence. Sumairii must wiggle His awesome index finger at the show’s mischief in even entertaining the idea that anyone could be as righteous and sexually desirable as Sumairii. Itami is a small man. He is nothing but a speck of dust, unnoticeable beneath Sumairii’s feet. And nothing can change this universal fact, not even the ego of Gate‘s author shining through his loathsome, self-inserting words. Of course, Sumairii’s displeasure does not stop there. As much justice as the show has done in introducing rabbit girl bar wenches who may be spies, bird girls with large, feathery hood ornaments, and most importantly fluffy cat girls in aprons, it has almost negated all of its merits in introducing one as repulsive as Yao.

Gate 1203


Sumairii has seen things that you people wouldn’t believe. But even in His vast library of experiences, Sumairii has not come across a character as frustratingly stupid and unlucky as Yao. Sumairii understands that literally everyone else in the known universe is beneath Himself and as such He should expect inferior intelligence and luck from every encounter. But not even the omnipotent Sumairii was prepared for such deplorable levels of intelligence and luck from a simple dark elf. That said, Sumairii has now assimilated this new experience and can say with confidence that He can in fact see such ignorance coming a mile away, nay, a lightyear away. This matter then becomes a commentary on how utterly inept Yao is. And she is utterly inept except when it comes to deflecting the power of boners. Sumairii concedes that the one thing Yao is good at is deflecting boners. Also dogezas. Yao’s dogeza form is top notch, rivaled only by Sumairii’s theoretical ultimate dogeza form. Which, of course is only theoretical as Sumairii would never dogeza to anyone.

The Extras Which Sumairii Provides

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Sumairii really wishes that He could leave the show on a better note than this kind of post. But this is what Sumairii has graciously delivered unto you, so you must accept it with gratitude and humility. It is simply difficult to take the Gate finale seriously when it attempts to depict Itami’s penis as being longer than a ruler. That is simply outrageous. Everyone knows that only Sumairii can possess the largest penis imaginable. His holy appendage spans the length of the known universe even when flaccid, and its girth exceeds the width of the largest known galaxy supercluster. Hail Sumairii. Oh, and Sumairii would also like you to know that He intends to cover Gate when it returns in Winter. See you space cowboy.


Gate 1204

White meat or dark meat?



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17 Responses to “Gate – 11-12 [INTERMISSION]”

  1. skylion says:

    Yah, Itami has pretty much gone from Author on Board/Author Avatar to The Author’s Board. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, but not all that.

    I wonder what’s behind Yao’s characterization. You know that Itami and company are going to go ahead and defend them, all the points line up to exactly that. I’m just wondering what Yao, and by extension, her people are trying to tell in story. A tribe of idiot simpletons that don’t know any better need our help!? Sounds suspicious.

    If they knew what was good for them, A-1 Studios would elevate Fluffy Apron Cat Girl to major character status and just go with a cute slice of life story with her and her girlfriends. I hear it’s all the rage these days…

  2. Overcooled says:

    A bit of a side note here…I don’t even watch this show but I read this post out of curiosity and it was amazing. All hail the almighty Sumairii!

  3. Foshizzel says:

    I just want to say Sumairii for president 2016~

    I haven’t seen the “finale” yet but I am very glad to see it coming back in the winter season 😀

    As for final thoughts I really enjoyed Gate! IMO it’s a million times more enjoyable for me than Outbreak Company because of the cast of characters like Rory and Itami.

    10/10 would gate again.

  4. Di Gi Kazune says:

    Fluffy cat girls in aprons are justice

    A bit beastly but approved! 😛 Definately A Cat Is Fine Too material.

  5. BlackBriar says:

    Hahaha!! What is this talk in the third person? Interesting choice. 😛

    I knew already this would be a 24 episode series but I was under the impression the run would be a straight 6 month shot from start to finish. The split cour option wasn’t even considered. Either choice is fine, anyway.

    The episode did good in putting the viewer in the middle ground concerning the events. Plus that military commander’s choices are understandable. I, myself, would help Yao in view of her crisis but I’d have to think of the lives of the soldiers that could be lost. And most of them likely have families they promised to come back to.

    Overall, Gate was a surprisingly entertaining series. Didn’t know what to expect but it became one of the shows to look forward to. With some good characters to boot. The favorite is obviously Rory. Here’s to hoping everything will retain its great atmosphere when the second half arrives come Winter 2016.

  6. IreneSharda says:

    I have to say that I agree with most of what the great Sumarii said.

    It was a pretty good series, I enjoyed Itami and his military troop. I enjoyed the idea that was put forth by the series, and for the most part, I’ve enjoyed the execution.

    As for our three main girls, well, they’re okay but I’ve never really cared for them all that much. I’ve never been much into harem elements.
    As for our last arc, I do hope there is more to it then just saving another elf village, it just seems to be retreading old ground. Yao is a pretty cliche character, and I hope there is more to her than the tsundere tough girl with big boobs routine.

    This last episode didn’t seem like a proper finale, but I don’t think they were prepared for it to be split cour rather than 2. So I’ll still come back for the second season, and I’m hoping they become even better.

    • Highway says:

      I don’t know if there’s any need for a show that knows it’s going to continue in the near future to put any sort of bow on the show pre-intermission to wrap it up as if it’s a finale of any sort. That would seem to waste time doing things that aren’t necessary, and are then made redundant and even distracting when one would later watch the show without a break.

  7. Alexandre Martins says:

    As I said before, I think GATE is one of the best series this year, and of other years as well, for me, simply because it has not only an interesting story, but believable characters (I agree that Yao is complete idiot, and seems to be the only person in her world that doesn’t know who Rory is). And when I say believable, I mean that they act and react not merely based on the traditional anime stereotypes, but as convincing people. From the moment the “evil” emperor made his strategic decision of allowing the JSDF to massacre the armies of rival countries so his empire could take control of them without a fight down to Rory’s wonderful speech to the stupid Diet spokeswoman, I’ve been fascinated by these small jewels of common sense in a genre that abuses so much of boring cliches and platitudes. Even Tuka’s denial about her father’s death is believable, especially since her kind is said by Lalei to practically live forever. So, a great series for me. I’m very happy that it’s coming back next winter.

  8. Highway says:

    Though it might risk the wrath of “the great sumairii” (imagine finger quotes and eyerolling there), isn’t that girl in the apron a fox (not that kind of fox) or a dog, not a cat? We’ve already seen a cat girl and she didn’t look like that.

    I thought that Yao’s yokel routine might have been a little overplayed, but was overall authentic, especially as they made a point of saying that the Dark Elves are from quite a distance away and in another country. A self-contained society in a different location could easily not be up on current events.

    I really liked the show. It’s nice to have a show sometimes where the good guys are gonna win, and there’s no false pretense of tension or dire consequences. I also liked the development of Rory’s desires for Itami, even down to scheming a way to get him to her room. In all, just about all the characters were done pretty well, and made the show enjoyable to watch.

    • skylion says:

      Ellipses The Great Sumairii and the Insurmountable skylion delved deep into the Audio/Visual Record! It was after mighty battle against all odds (an easy task for either of us, a paltry one for both!) that we discovered the Sacred Word! For Maia uttered “NYAA” at the end of at least two sentences. So we thusly state, the young lady in question is indeed a Cat Girl. We shall henceforth take not the further bleating of sheep into account Ellipses

  9. Sumairii says:

    For those who are confused, the point of this post was to satirize the season finale of Gate. The last episode put Itami on a pedestal in such an unnecessarily over-the-top fashion that I couldn’t resist responding in kind.

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